There are so many ways in which alcohol can Literally Destroy your life. and the lives of the ones who care about you
I will describe a few negative effects of long term excessive drinking
1. alcohol dependence
2. changes in personality
3. messing up your brain (korsakoff's and alcohol dementia)
4. ruining your physical health
1. Alcohol dependence
Imagine you are looking forward to your daughter’s wedding. It’s a milestone you pictured a few times in your mind; you invited your family and can’t wait for the day. Your daughter needs you to talk about preparations, show you the dress and set up, and you are happy to be part of her joy. In theory, you are present, and you want to take part. But sometimes you can join in, and sometimes you are too drunk to participate in a conversation. Days are missing from your memory, but you try to remain involved; you want that. You can’t remember if you helped her with the dress or not. You don’t ask, in case you were there and can’t remember. The big day comes. Can you stay sober enough to build some memories and not make a foul of yourself or would you lose track and get so drunk that you can’t remember anything afterwards?
alcohol dependence is a nightmare for the person with Addiction and their close ones
Every day is a delicate balance between drinking enough to stop the shakes and not drinking too much. Sometimes you manage reasonably well (or so you think); other times, your memory fails you. You were waiting for months to see your grandchildren, and the day finally came and went. And you don’t remember a thing! Part of the family stopped seeing you altogether. The pain of seeing you drunk and ill got too much for them. The house is in a state you are not proud of. You lost any social contacts many years ago. Friends stopped trying to contact you after several calls when you were not sober enough to articulate a few words. Your partner either left or became an alcoholic too. Your whole life is around alcohol. You need it to function, and you hate that you need it. You wish you could stop, but you can’t. You even had an inpatient detox but relapsed into drinking a few days later. That admission was scary. You saw things that were not there, were confused and disoriented and swore that if you got out alive, you would never touch alcohol again.
You tried to stop so many times you lost count. You decided to stop trying and balance the drinking at a reasonable level. Sometimes you see suicide as a way out. Why does it need to be so hard? How did I get here?
when alcohol dependent, is incredibly hard to stop
You very likely know someone who is alcohol dependent or, if not, you might have seen enough movies about it. In American movies, there is an “intervention” followed by a long detox and usually a “happily ever after” sober period. In reality, most people go through cycles of relapse and soberness. Even when not drinking, the risk of relapse remains. The brain is not the same as the brain of someone who never got to the stage of alcohol dependence. When drinking, the neuronal pathways get going to reinforce the drinking and the urge to continue is incredibly strong.
life is a never-ending torment about needing the drink and hating the drink
Every unplanned event comes with the risks of developing “withdrawal syndrome”. Any unexpected situation when you couldn’t drink or drank less. Imagine an accident, a bus delayed on its journey, some emergency in the family when you don’t have access to alcohol. It starts with the shakes, feeling ill, pain in the body, agitation, restlessness. It’s a horrible feeling, you feel raw like the skin is peeled off you. If you are lucky, this is it and it stops when you drink or gradually, after a few days.
when stopping abruptly, the withdrawal is horrible. it can be associated with Seizures and it can lead to delirium
Some people experience seizures, with the associated risks: falls, injury, and vulnerability. Another complication is delirium tremens: you see things that are not there and can feel incredibly scared and agitated. I have seen people use all their body strength to push a wall as they hallucinated that it would collapse. More common, people with delirium tremens try to pick invisible little things that are not there; they may feel or wrongly see insects crawling over their body. Untreated delirium can be fatal.
Why am i saying all this? isn't something that everyone already knows?
If you, the reader, have an alcohol problem, you know all this already and it’s just a painful reminder. I am sorry that you came across this post.
I am trying to reach people who never fully thought about the long term consequences of regular drinking. And there are many in this category.
People who drink daily, “to relax” after work.
People who glamorise drinking and boast about how drunk they got, on this and that occasion.
People who “self medicate” with alcohol. This is the biggest lie you can tell yourself. The effect of “medication” are short lived. You may feel that it reduces anxiety and numbs you from depressive feelings, but the rebound is increased anxiety and even lower mood. And poor, interrupted and unrestful sleep. With all the negative impacts on health.
2. Changes in personality
In alcohol dependence, personality changes are evident as all the actions, goals and interactions are impacted by alcohol use.
But the personality changes can be noticed even before alcohol dependence. A few examples I frequently see are:
- Someone who is usually a bit shy and anxious, with the “help” of alcohol, becomes more outspoken but also more irritable, has a short temper, and is more likely to be aggressive.
- Increased suspiciousness and jealousy. The underlying reasons are memory gaps that are filled with the worst possible scenarios and the negative impact of alcohol on sexual potency. What follows are worries and imagined scenarios about the partner being unfaithful.
- Lying and deceptiveness to hide the drinking.
- Reduced social interactions when the drinking takes precedence over family and friends.
3. messing up your brain
I will give an example amalgamated from several people I met.
Joanna, a 35 years old woman, was admitted to the hospital with liver failure. She had multiple physical complications due to alcohol use, but the most shocking were her memory problems, especially considering how young she was. You can have a conversation with her; she responded to questions, told me how she has just been on holiday, met with friends, and saw her mum the other day. But when seen the next day, these stories changed. When visited a week later, she would say how she had been to the movies the day before. She was in the hospital throughout, so I knew it wasn’t true. All the other stories she said were either not true or happened a few months or years before. She didn’t intentionally lie. It’s called confabulations when the memory gaps are filled with random stories.
What I described it's Korsakoff's syndrome
It usually follows from an acute encephalopathy (Wernicke’s), and it’s a chronic condition.
I have seen people in care homes with Korsakoff’s or alcoholic dementia. The cognitive problems and associated behaviour were so debilitating that the family couldn’t look after them anymore. Although I had seen him years ago, one person that stayed on my mind was a man in his mid 40s who looked incredibly young compared with the other care home residents. He didn’t remember his wife and family, although their pictures were hung on the wall. I was called to see him because he was too agitated and violent to be managed in that setting.
The good thing about alcoholic dementia is that there can be some or even full recovery with abstinence and good support.
4. Ruining your physical health
The main organs affected by long-term alcohol use are the liver, heart, pancreas and, as outlined above, the brain.
It increases the risk of many conditions, including high blood pressure, stroke, pancreatitis, liver disease, liver cancer, mouth cancer, head and neck cancer, breast cancer, bowel cancer, depression, dementia, sexual problems, and infertility.
Source: click here
how not to get there
I admit this is by far the most depressive post I’ve written. I have seen and lived too much to be able to paint anything about this topic with rosy colours. It’s sad, heartbreaking, and if it’s about someone close to you, you are left seeing them dying slowly in front of you if they are not ready for change.
what can you do:
1. Don’t drink daily.
According to medical science, there are no “safe limits” to drinking. But I am not trying to be a total joy killer and say you should never drink. I get the fun of having a drink with friends or a refreshing beer on a hot day. I enjoy that too.
But let alcohol be a rare thing (if abstinence is too strict for you), and avoid drinking daily. Drinking daily makes it very easy to slip into alcohol dependence without realising it. One day, stopping will be impossible without any additional help. It’s impossible to say if and when it will happen. I have seen people become alcohol dependent after a few years of drinking, in their 20s; others became alcohol dependent after several decades of drinking. Usually it starts as social drinking with gradual increase, until it becomes a habit.
2. Don’t let alcohol be your winding down strategy
Don’t give alcohol more than it deserves. Don’t rely on it to relax you after work or when you are stressed. Look for other strategies, such as physical activity, a movie, talking with close friends, reading a book, having a nice bath, travel, hobbies….
You may find my other article about how to increase motivation to exercise useful. Click here
3. Alcohol is not “self-medication”—access appropriate treatment for mental health difficulties.
You may find my self-help strategies for depression helpful – click here.
How to break free if you already have a problem
The first step is honesty with yourself and admitting that change is needed.
Second, it is essential to access help. As stated above, sudden withdrawal can be life-threatening due to the risk of seizures, delirium tremens and Wernicke encephalopathy. Therefore, detox is best done in a medically supervised way or with advice from someone trained in addictions.
But some people manage to stop by themselves. The safe way to do it is by gradually reducing the amount drank daily.
As services differ from country to country, it’s hard to give specific advice. There is CGL (Change, Grow, Live) and alcoholic anonymous where I live. The GP or family doctor should be able to direct you to relevant services.
It’s important to reflect on the reasons behind the drinking
Is it about unresolved trauma?
Or unhappiness with life?
Or too much stress?
For the change to be sustainable, some changes must be made to replace alcohol with connection, meaning and joy derived from other sources.
Summary
- We all know alcohol is bad for us, but we don’t appreciate how bad until we face the problem personally.
- There are several negative consequences of long-term drinking that are not frequently talked about. More knowledge can help inform our choices.
- Alcohol shouldn’t be our go-to for relaxation, “self-medication”, or regular entertainment.
- We can do things to avoid reaching a stage of alcohol dependence.
- In the case of alcohol dependence, there is support available. Abrupt abstinence can be life-threatening and should be avoided.
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